My kids spend a lot of time fighting with each other. So, I spend a lot of time disciplining. With all the techniques I have tried, I have to say that separating them is about the only thing that works for any extended period of time (like greater than five minutes). If I can send one child in one direction (maybe for an outing with daddy) and keep one to myself, I enjoy the added benefit of getting to know more about his or her unique characteristics and desires. I am always surprised by how totally different their personalities are when they are alone. Suddenly, I realize, this is a complex little human with lots of interesting things to say.
This weekend, my son and I managed to steal away for an hour for a walk on and around the beach near granny and grampy’s place. We took pictures of each other and enjoyed some companionable silence, while he gathered stones and twigs and we both examined our surroundings.
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| “We all know that children need some special one-on-one time with their parents,” writes Katrina Kenison. “But sometimes we forget that we parents need this kind of time alone with our children, too. And, unfortunately, when the pace of life speeds up, one-on-one time is often the first thing that gets squeezed out.” |
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Kenison adds, “Given our other obligations and the length of our to-do lists, it is all too easy to forget the good stuff—namely, how much we actually like our own kids as people, how much we enjoy their company, and how important it is for us to have fun together. Mothers can get so caught up in the caretaking that we may overlook each child’s need to be seen as an individual, with unique tastes and temperaments and gifts…Alone with our children, one on one, we have a chance to see and hear and accept them as they really are, right now, in this moment. We see them not in relation to their siblings, friends, or peers, or as a piece of the larger family puzzle—but as unique individuals, each with a particular destiny to fulfill on this earth.”
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